As an executive leader, your ability to generate results through others hinges on how well you listen—not just to what’s being said, but also to what’s not being said. The real challenge is being able to distinguish between:

• What you need to hear,
  vs.
• What others want to tell you.

To make informed and timely decisions, you must upgrade your listening to capture both verbal and non-verbal cues—so you can determine the honesty, accuracy, and credibility behind the information being shared with you.

Below are three deep listening skills to help you become rigorous in getting to the truth when communicating with others:

1. Listen for the Difference: “Vague & Automatic” vs Specific & Intentional” Speaking

When people speak vaguely or on autopilot, they often avoid accountability and miss critical details. Intentional speaking, by contrast, is grounded in specifics, timelines, and measurable data.

Example of Vague & Automatic Speaking:

“I’m confident that we’ll hit our monthly sales target of $550,000. We’re winning new work, and I’ve been promised by my team that we’ll close several deals.”

This response may sound reassuring, but it lacks specifics and signals uncertainty or a desire to please rather than inform.

Example of Specific & Intentional Speaking:

“We have 15 days left in the month. So far, we’ve closed $330,000 in sales, and we’re actively working on four proposals that could bring in an additional $270,000. We’ve scheduled meetings over the next 10 days with each of those clients to address their concerns and secure their commitment. If successful, we’ll exceed our target by $50,000.”

2. Listen for the Language of Commitment vs Non-Commitment

People reveal their level of ownership and accountability through their choice of words.

Language of Commitment (Accountability):

• “I will…”
• “I can…”
• “I am…”
• “I do…”
• “I know…”
• “I choose…”
• “Yes” or “No”

Language of Non-Commitment (Avoidance):

• “I’ll try…”
• “I guess…”
• “Maybe…”
• “I should…”
• “I assume…”
• “It wasn’t my fault…”

Compare these examples:

Non-committed: “I should be able to get you the report by Friday.”
Your response: “Great, I look forward to seeing it Friday.”

 Chances are, you won’t see it on time.

Committed: “You’ll have the report in your inbox by Friday at 2pm.”

• Confidence increases when specific, accountable language is used.

Remember: When you hear vague or non-committal phrases, ask for clarity:

• “Can you confirm—will I receive it by 2pm Friday?”

3. Listen for “The Unsaid” – Non-Verbal Cues That Signal Truth or Discomfort

Sometimes the most important part of communication is what’s not said—or how something is said.

Example:

An EVP asks a Branch Manager:

“Is Paul (VP of the Region) giving you all the support you need?”

The Branch Manager responds:

(Looks away, avoids eye contact) “You bet!” (Said quickly, with an off-tone)

Though the words are positive, the body language, tone, and pacing tell another story.

What to do:

Slow the moment down. You might say:

“I’m confused by what you just communicated. Your words said one thing, but your body language and tone said something else.”

Then, pause—and let the silence do the work. People will often reveal the truth when given space.

Remember to pay attention to inconsistencies between voice tone, voice pace, posture and content.

Final Thought: Leadership Requires Listening for Truth

The most powerful leaders don’t just listen to what’s being said – they listen for:  

• Clarity
• Commitment
• Alignment

Deep Listening is a practice. It takes:

• Discipline to pause and inquire deeper.
• Humility to stay curious
• Self-Awareness to know when your own biases might be filtering what you hear.